Demanding AND (not or) Supportive
I recently stumbled across a short blog post by Ravi Gupta titled Demanding and Supportive. Check it out! It's had me thinking a lot lately about my own leadership style and how I approach both of these aspects, so I thought I'd write an article on it.
Gupta makes the point that great leaders aren't just demanding OR supportive, they are both! This can be hard to grasp, because on the surface these two characteristics seem to be opposites. How can I make myself approachable to support this member of my team, while at the same time holding them fully accountable to results and their performance? How can I discipline them when necessary, while still connecting with them personally? It's a constant balancing act.
As I've pondered this in my own leadership journey, here are a few concepts that might be helpful in striking the right balance between demanding and supportive:
1) Situation Dependent - while I believe the best leaders are a combination of the two, I think the direction you lean depends heavily on the situation. In his book The First 90 Days, Michael Watkins outlines the STARS model for assessing a situation. You can see the brief descriptions below, but suffice to say the way you should approach a turnaround is very different than sustaining success.
My first true leadership role was as a Service Manager in San Antonio, and it was definitely a turnaround. As such I leaned towards the demanding side. Heck I even earned the nickname "the grim reaper" for letting several people go (the running joke was if you got called into my office unexpectedly, it didn't end well).
Contrast that with the last couple of years in my current role that I'd consider more of a realignment. I've been blessed with a strong team, capable managers, and with the impacts of COVID-19 I've erred on the side of supportive. The team has performed well in the midst of extreme adversity, and it's felt more appropriate for my role to be more coach and therapist than hard driver.
2) People Appreciate Being Held Accountable - this one is a bit counterintuitive. Sometimes managers are hesitant to be overly demanding because they think their team will rebel. I've found that most employees, especially top performers, actually like being held to a high standard. They appreciate the clarity on how they are performing and when their teammates are held to the same high standard, it becomes easier to get things done.
My approach is to be transparent with the overall mission and vision, and clear with what is expected of everyone and how they'll be measured. However I believe in giving flexibility in how the work gets done to achieve those goals. Being demanding is often confused with micromanagement, but the two are not the same. You can be demanding as a leader while still giving your team the autonomy to best determine how to get the job done. Tony Robbins said, "Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach."
3) Separate Performance and Development
One of things I like about Trane's talent management process is everyone has performance goals, but also a separate development plan. The image below shows the high level difference between the two.
I view an employee's development as primarily a supportive activity for a leader. Whether the development goals are aimed at being more effective in their current role, or preparing for the next one, development requires coaching and discretionary effort on the part of the employee. On the flip side, performance is non-negotiable & table stakes for the job being performed, and therefore can require a more demanding leadership approach.
By separating activities between performance and development, it can help us as leaders find the right balance between being demanding and supportive. It can also help us determine not only if we have the right people on the team, but also if we have them in the right seat on the bus.
4) Put Your Team First - I've written previously about the 3 Universal Business Priorities and believe firmly that it all starts with employee engagement. Simply put being demanding and supportive takes considerable time, and only works if you take the mindset of putting your team first.
This could take the form of fielding a call at 9PM at night because someone on your team needs a sounding board. It could be letting them present to leadership about a recent accomplishment instead of yourself. It could also be performance managing someone into a different role or out of the business entirely, knowing it's ultimately the best thing for them and the rest of the team. I view striking that right balance between demanding and supportive as being very much aligned with servant leadership.
In closing, you don't have to choose between being demanding or supportive. You can be both, in fact you have to be both to be a highly effective leader.
Thanks for reading, below are some recommendations from things I've watched and read in the past couple weeks:
· Article - Do I Have Your Attention Now by Nick Maggiulli – I always enjoy Nick’s blog and I think this is a simple, important message. There’s nothing more important than where we apply our time and focus, so guard it and be intentional
· Book - Financial Intelligence for Entrepreneurs by Karen Berman and Joe Knight – I thought I had a pretty good grasp of finance along with the balance sheet, income statement, and cash flow from my MBA and work experience. I still learned a ton from this book, and it explained difficult concepts in a very clear way with great examples. Highly recommend for anyone looking to beef up their financial acumen
· Article - The 100,000 Foot View by Packy McCormick – Packy has grown his newsletter and followers exponentially. He makes a great point that the norm for people who accomplish this is to start putting out fortune cookie type content that panders to the lowest common denominator. I really admire Packy for sticking with what got him to this point and going super deep in his research and writing
· TV Show - Reacher – This show is available on Amazon Prime and the recommendation is just for pure entertainment. Really entertaining show and this actor certainly seems like a better fit for the role of Jack Reacher than Tom Cruise was. Only bummer is having to wait a while for season 2 since the first season is only 8 episodes long
· Quote – The unhappiest people of the world are those in the international watering places like the south coast of France, and Newport, and Palm Springs, and Palm Beach. Going to parties every night. Playing golf every afternoon, then bridge. Drinking too much. Talking too much. Thinking too little. Retired. No purpose. As so, while I know there are those who would totally disagree with this and say, “Gee, if I could just be a millionaire that would be the most wonderful thing. If I could just not have to work everyday. If I could just be out fishing or hunting or playing golf or traveling, that would be the most wonderful life in the world.” They don’t know life. Because what makes life mean something is purpose. A goal. The battle. The struggle. Even if you don’t win it. Richard Nixon